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Category: My Weird Life
Pre-Christmas Visit
“Can’t we just try to work this out? It’s Christmas. I know I wind you up, but I don’t mean to.”
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Not coming home for Christmas
Only my mother could ignore me for two weeks, only to be furious with me over a conversation we never had… because she was ignoring me.
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There is only ONE [insert word here] in this family…
“There is only one miser in this family, Dove.” [dramatic pause] “And it’s you. We’ve all discussed it.”
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The joy of gifts
The only gift she’s ever seem particularly attached to is a keyring I bought her back when I was around 10. It reads: NOBODY IS PERFECT. EXCEPT ME.
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Going No Contact
A massive document I typed up right after this happened, a few days after my 42nd birthday.
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The Frozen Chicken Story
“… we stay on the internet, until a hopping mad woman drives three miles across town to throw frozen chicken at my head.”
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The Christmas I Spent Alone
Apropos of nothing, Mother binned the Christmas dinner and left the home for two days. I still have no concrete reason why.
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The time I didn’t record Coronation Street
It’s perfectly normal to threaten to abandon your tween at Social Services because they accidentally didn’t record your favourite soap.
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